The Foundation of All Emotions - Happiness

Happiness is the most fundamental and essential emotion for human beings. Humans have invented numerous adjectives to describe happiness, such as contentment, joy, and satisfaction, among others. As a positive emotion that benefits both our physical and mental well-being, happiness permeates all our daily actions. For instance, embarking on a long journey, going to a bar with long-lost friends, or accomplishing a meaningful task are all examples of happiness. 

At this point, you may want to interrupt me because the behaviors I just described seem idealistic and influenced by many objective factors in real life. Especially as we age, our understanding of the world deepens, our interpersonal relationships expand, and the responsibilities we bear increase. All these factors make it increasingly difficult to attain happiness.

Although happiness is a very fundamental emotion, obtaining it can be incredibly challenging. It feels like a hunt, where happiness is the prey we want to capture. Despite the fact that the prey is right in front of us, we constantly struggle to make that decisive shot.

Returning to the essence of the question, have you ever wondered why? Why is it that despite our diligent and earnest pursuit of happiness, we still cannot achieve the desired results?

Yerkes–Dodson law

The answer was given back in 1908 by Robert M. Yerkes and John Dillingham Dodson - the Yerkes-Dodson law.

The Yerkes-Dodson law is an empirical relationship between pressure and performance, used to describe the interplay between motivation, difficulty, and effectiveness. After more than a century of development, this law can explain many social phenomena and psychological states, including the question we are discussing here: "Why is it that the more we pursue happiness, the harder it is to attain?"

In the simplest terms, the law states that performance increases with physiological or mental arousal, but only up to a certain point. When arousal levels become too high, performance starts to decline. This process is often represented graphically as a bell-shaped curve that rises and then falls with increasing levels of arousal.

To delve deeper into the explanation, if we replace "performance" with "happiness," it becomes easier to understand. In our common understanding, it seems that the stronger our motivation and positivity, the better we perform, and our productivity exhibits a linear growth trend with increasing motivation.

However, psychologists Yerkes and Dodson found and confirmed in their research that the relationship between motivation intensity and performance efficiency is not linear but follows an inverted "U" shape. Optimal performance occurs at moderate levels of motivation. When motivation is too low, there is a lack of drive, resulting in low performance. When motivation exceeds the peak, efficiency declines continuously because excessive motivation leads to excessive anxiety and tension, which can disrupt memory, thinking, and other cognitive processes.

This law described by Yerkes and Dodson is not only applicable to work but also applies to learning, performing, and many other behaviors in life. It suggests that when you desire something, but the desire is not too intense, your performance or efficiency tends to be better. On the other hand, when the desire is not as strong or becomes overwhelmingly strong, efficiency decreases, and you may even struggle to perform well.

Additionally, Yerkes and Dodson also discovered that the optimal point of performance differs depending on the difficulty of the task. More difficult and complex tasks often reach their peak performance with a moderate level of motivation. Conversely, tasks that are easier to accomplish tend to have higher efficiency when there is a strong desire or a sense of obligation to complete them.

Yerkes–Dodson law in life

Thinking about it, it's true that our performance can be quite unpredictable when we are faced with something we really desire or someone we're afraid to lose. On the other hand, in a more formal setting, when facing someone important but whom we don't value as much, we can even bask in our own perfect performance.

When faced with a trivial matter, our initial reaction may be terrible, followed by a state of indifference, which ultimately leads to zero efficiency. However, once we calm down and regain composure, we patiently sort out the situation, unravel it step by step, and gradually improve our efficiency.

The same applies to simple tasks like tidying up a room or brushing our teeth. Normally, we don't rush to do them and take our time. However, if unexpected guests are coming over or we wake up late and are about to be late, our efficiency in cleaning the room, washing up, getting dressed, and having breakfast suddenly becomes impressive.

Happiness works in a similar way. The more we try to seek happiness through a certain thing, an object, or a person, the more likely it is to have the opposite effect, even leading to feelings of frustration, disappointment, and anger. On the other hand, if we approach things, objects, or people with a casual and non-demanding attitude, we can easily find joy and live a happy life.

Letting go of oneself leads to happiness

It's true, our performance can be difficult to gauge when faced with something we strongly desire or someone we fear losing. On the other hand, in a slightly more formal setting, when facing someone important but whom we don't value as much, we might even become immersed in our own perfect performance.

When confronted with a trivial matter, our initial reaction can be quite negative, followed by a state of indifference that leads to zero productivity. However, once we have regained our composure, we can patiently sort through the matter, unravel it step by step, and increase our efficiency.

The same applies to simple tasks like cleaning a room, washing our face and brushing our teeth. Normally, we don't rush to do these tasks, and even if we do them, we take our time. But if we suddenly have guests coming over or if we wake up late and are almost late, our efficiency in cleaning the room, washing our face and brushing our teeth, getting dressed, and having breakfast becomes admirable even to ourselves.

Happiness follows a similar pattern. The more we strive to attain happiness through something, someone, or a particular situation, the more likely it is to elude us. In fact, it can leave us feeling frustrated, disappointed, and even angry. However, by adopting an ordinary and non-demanding attitude towards something, someone, or a situation, we can easily find a sense of relaxation and derive happiness from it.